The Body Language Lady

Look at his face when he gets emotional and you will notice that his lips press together, a signal that typically shows that someone is trying to suppress emotion. It would make sense that a former prisoner of war would have learned to do this.  But you can tell he has strong emotions and tries to suppress enormous anger because his cheeks with often fill up with that anger like a puffer fish and blow out. Look for that exasperation signal in people when they are under stress. It let’s you know who is mad and who may explode at any moment. 

Check out this article I interviewed for in SheKnows.com: http://www.sheknows.com/articles/health-and-wellness/dental/

Interesting article on personality type for the perfect mate. 

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200603/online-love/4

I have received a lot of emails about the Narcissism read of Obama. I have been reading about Narcissism a great deal. One of my favorite college classes at Florida State was Mythology and I remember very clearly the relish with which our very animated professor told the story of Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection. Narcissists generally crave attention, are overconfident of their abilities, lack empathy and can show erratic behavior. I was reading a research study by  Drew Pinsky, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at USC. He is known as “Dr. Drew,” on the radio advice show Loveline for the last 20 years. He says that “They are also well-liked, especially on first meeting, are extroverted and perform well in public.”

 Pinsky and Young asked 200 guest celebrities on Loveline to anonymously complete the standard Narcissism Personality Inventory profile, which measures “authority,” “exhibitionism,” “superiority,” “entitlement,” “exploitativeness,”
“self-sufficiency,” and “vanity” as components of narcissism.

While an earlier study found a base test score of 15.3 for the adult population of the U.S., Pinsky and Young found a celebrity average NPI score of 17.84 in their survey, and a whopping 19.2 score for female celebrities, driven by notably higher results for “exhibitionism,” “superiority,” and “vanity.”

“The industry attracts and retains women who place a very strong emphasis on their physical appearance,” the authors conclude. And for reality TV personalities, who scored 19.45 on the NPI, Pinsky and Young say, “Reality television has provided an outlet for narcissistic individuals, many with limited abilities, to believe that they can succeed in the entertainment industry.”

Pile all that on top of the sense of “entitlement” and “exploitativeness” you may recognize the fabulously wealthy party girl heiress, Paris Hilton a veritable poster child for towering, gilded narcissism.

“Knowing that many celebrities have narcissistic tendencies may allow entertainment industry decision makers such as studio executives, producers, directors, agents, publicists and casting agents to work with them more effectively,” Young explained. “It may also provide greater insight into celebrity behavior for the general public.” I think it also may give us insight into the kind of person we may want to be our next president.

I just read this excellent article about the harm that might come from using put down humor at work, check it out here:

http://www.management-issues.com/2007/12/18/opinion/the-serious-side-of-put-down-humor.asp

Why do Powerful women treat less powerful women badly…Many years ago I moved to be near my best friend who was terminally ill. It was a difficult time. Before the move I had been teaching body language and other communication classes at Florida State and running a very successful speaking business. I loved my college students and they loved me. I know it was so, because they would write down every word I said in class (and you wonder why professors get big egos). Many would stay after class, visit me in my office for hours and stop for a hug when they would see me on campus. I had wonderful relationships with my clients as well. I was respected and paid a great deal to speak, and participants would stay after a seminar or speech to shake my hand or visit. If I ran into clients or past participants in the small college town of Tallahassee, I was usually given the same warm friendly response.

Then I moved to the big city, so that I would have the flexibility to run to the hospital for my best friend when I needed to. That first year I chose not to take speaking engagements out of town while he was ill and instead took receptionist jobs through a temporary agency. The pay cut was significant. Instead of $500 an hour I made $7.50 for answering the telephone. Strangely enough, it didn’t bother me that much. What did bother me was how people treated me nonverbally. Inevitably I was at a desk at the entrance to the main entrance of the business. A few weeks before my first temp job I had been smiled at, listened to and hugged by the people I worked for. Sitting behind the receptionist desk, wearing the same clothes that I had worn as a speaker, I was shunned - by the women.

Article Continued…

Eric Wargo writes in the July 2006 Psychological Science, “A series of experiments by Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov reveal that all it takes is a tenth of a second to form an impression of a stranger from their face, and that longer exposures don’t significantly alter those impressions (although they might boost your confidence in your judgments).

“Willis and Todorov conducted separate experiments to study judgments from facial appearance, each focusing on a different trait: attractiveness, likeability, competence, trustworthiness, and aggressiveness. Participants were shown photographs of unfamiliar faces for 100 milliseconds (1/10 of a second), 500 milliseconds (half a second), or 1,000 milliseconds (a full second), and were immediately asked to judge the faces for the trait in question (e.g., “Is this person competent?”). Response time was measured. Participants were then asked to rate their confidence in making their judgments.”

Study data showed that “Response times also revealed that participants made their judgments as quickly (if not more quickly) after seeing a face for 1/10 of a second as they did if given a longer glimpse. Longer exposure times did increase confidence in judgments…”

Of the  five traits: attractiveness, likeability, competence, trustworthiness, and aggressiveness. Guess which one had the highest correlation to positive first impressions?

Trustworthiness. That doesn’t surprise me. In the last 20 years of surveying my audiences that has consisitently been the most important trait.  Go to my website for more information and to sign up for my free newsletter.

In book Success Signals I talk about a study on gesturing and how it relates to learning, communication, and memory recall. I was re reading it recently as I watched tapes of the candidates for the History Channel Special I shot two weeks ago.

Dr. Susan Wagner Cook and Dr. Susan Goldin-Meadow research on gesturing says that, “When people talk they give spontaneous gestures those gestures often reflect thoughts not expressed in their words.” So that there can be a mismatch between words and gestures. Mismatches’ are found when learners are on the verge of making progress on a task - when they are ready to learn.  So when someone says they get but their hands slice downward it could mean I don’t really get. It is a very interesting read. Here are a few key learning’s that I gleaned:
- “Gesture is associated with learning”
- “The relationship between gesture and speech predicts readiness to learn”
- “The fact that gesture conveys information not found in speech paves the way for it to play its own role in communication.”
- “Gesturing lightens cognitive load” So when we gesture as we speak we can learn more, take on more information.
- “Gesture reflects thoughts that learners cannot yet express in speech” So speakers and teachers and parents and partners watch for the truth of gestures.

Interested in learning more…
- Dr. Susan Wagner Cook’s website, including a link to the study
- Dr. Susan Goldin-Meadow’s website, including a link to an NPR radio interview, “Primate Gestures May Be Clue to Human Language” - Link to MSNBC and its recent review of the study. It is interesting to see how media repackages academic studies for public consumption - Link to a similar article those talks about “The Long-Neglected Sister of Language”
- Press release announcing the article — you can see another take on summarizing the article
- Compilation book with over 15 articles, “Nonverbal Communication, Interaction, and Gesture (Approaches to Semiotics)” [links to Amazon.com]

A new study was just published in “Evolution and Human Behavior,” the official journal of the Human Behavior and Evolution Society. The study title, “Dominance and the evolution of sexual dimorphism in human voice pitch” can be found in Volume 27, Issue 4, and Pages 283-296 (July 2006). In the abstract (full abstract below), you’ll find “In this study, we examine the relationships among voice pitch, dominance, and male mating success.”

At this point, you may be saying out loud or to yourself, huh, what does this have to do with business storytelling and business communications?

If I started with this description that a new study was just released titled, “Men raise vocal pitch when addressing physically dominant males,” I would bet that you would be interested then and it would make sense.

Click here for a link to a study that women dress better as they approach their highest level of fertility.

 ”Power red turned to powder blue not long after Bush took the Oval Office in 2001. For five of his State of the Union addresses, the President has worn a blue tie with a dark suit. He’s also favored the color for news conferences and state appearances over the years. Overall, blue is America’s favorite color, people associate it with (being steadfast and constant, always there, dependable,”  

AP Photo President George W. Bush talks during a joint press conference with Egyptian President Hosing Mubarak, following their talks in Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt, Wednesday, Jan. 16.

 I have always wondered why Senator Hillary Clinton suits look like the rejects from a thrift shop.

Is she making a statement about the importance of recycling? I am especially intrigued to see when she chooses to wear yellow. Oh my god a yellow suit. The last time I saw a savvy women wear a yellow suit was on the 80’s TV show designing women! Hillary represents women…I just want to reach into the TV screen pull Hilary out and take her shopping a Loemans.  Why does she sometimes choose a yellow suite? It could be because it is a great color to where when you’re feeling down. Yellow is color that stimulates our desires, promotes positively and prevents depression. Perhaps we should notice when Hilary chooses to wear that color. Perhaps she uses it to fight her blues. Hum do you think another reason school buses are yellow is to cheer up all those kids depressed to be on their way to the math test in Mrs. Hood’s class?) Because Yellow is a welcoming color, even the color of the pineapple put the entrances of colonial homes to show welcome) and a color that stimulates creativity and good communication it should be a great color for a candidate to wear to give a speech. Yep that cheery, optimistic, big bird color definitely catches our attention. But our eyes can’t rest on it. It’s an irritating color. McDonald’s uses it to get you in and then has it on the walls inside to irate you enough that you will leave and give room for more customers.  Of course sometimes she wears red or blue. Red: red reflects energy, power and strength. Red is a very eye color catching and this makes it useful in case that you want to draw some attention to yourself. Red stimulates fast heartbeat and breathing so it could be an irritating color when it’s over used. It boosts physical energy. Blue When you wear blue you leave an impression that you are loyal and trust worthy. It’s recommended that you choose blue in political meetings and job interviews, because the interviewer may unconsciously trust you more.